असक्तिरनभिष्वङ्गः पुत्रदारगृहादिषु | नित्यं च समचित्तत्वमिष्टानिष्टोपपत्तिषु || १० ||
asaktir anabhiṣvaṅgaḥ putra-dāra-gṛhādiṣu nityaṁ ca sama-cittatvam iṣṭāniṣṭopapattiṣu
asaktiḥ—non-attachment; anabhiṣvaṅgaḥ—without deep entanglement; putra—children; dāra—wife; gṛha—home; ādiṣu—and so on; nityam—always; ca—also; sama-cittatvam—equanimity of mind; iṣṭa—desirable; aniṣṭa—undesirable; upapattiṣu—having happened.
“Non-attachment, non-identification with children, spouse, home, and so forth; constant equanimity of mind in both desirable and undesirable events —”
The word 'anabhishvangah' — freedom from deep clinging — is stronger than mere non-attachment. It points to the painful grip of possessive love that causes so much suffering in family life. This does not mean renouncing family relationships but radically shifting their quality — from clinging to loving freely. The Vedantin loves deeply but without the desperate need for the loved one to be or remain a certain way.
The equanimity (sama-cittatvam) in both desirable and undesirable events is the daily practice. When good news comes and you are elated, and when bad news comes and you are devastated — both are swings from center. The practice is not to suppress either response but to notice the center beneath both, and return to it more quickly each time.