समः शत्रौ च मित्रे च तथा मानापमानयोः | शीतोष्णसुखदुःखेषु समः सङ्गविवर्जितः || १८ ||
samaḥ śatrau ca mitre ca tathā mānāpamānayoḥ śītoṣṇa-sukha-duḥkheṣu samaḥ saṅga-vivarjitaḥ
samaḥ—equal; śatrau—to an enemy; ca—also; mitre—to a friend; ca—also; tathā—so; māna—in honor; apamānayoḥ—and dishonor; śīta—in cold; uṣṇa—heat; sukha—pleasure; duḥkheṣu—and pain; samaḥ—equal; saṅga-vivarjitaḥ—free from all association.
“Equal to enemy and friend, equal in honor and dishonor, equal in cold and heat, in pleasure and pain; free from all attachment —”
The equanimity described here is not emotional numbness. Ramanuja clarifies that the realized soul still experiences sensations of hot and cold, still knows who is friend and who is enemy, still feels the difference between honor and dishonor. But they are not moved from their inner center by these distinctions. Their identity is not staked on external conditions; they abide in the Self which is beyond all pairs of opposites.
The pairs of opposites — honor/dishonor, heat/cold, friend/enemy — are the testing ground of equanimity. Notice which pair of opposites most destabilizes you. That is your current growing edge. The practice is to meet each pole of that pair with a growing steadiness rooted in something deeper than the circumstance itself.